Good To the Last Drop
by Silver Miko
Summary: My name is Duo Maxwell, columnist and bisexual extraoridinarre and this is the story of my adventures in Tokyo.
1. Colors

Author's Notes: This fic is attributed to three things.

1. Sex in the City

2. Yaoi

3. My friend Shelley, you are such a blonde.

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Good to the Last Drop

By Silver Miko

Chapter 1: Colors

The scale of sexuality in my opinion can be defined by a color scale. It goes something like this, and keep this mind as I use it constantly.

Orange/red- straight.

Fuschia- bisexual leaning towards women.

Violet- bisexual.

Indigo- bisexual leaning towards men

blue-gay.

Brown-metrosexual.

Pink-omni-sexual...will do anything pretty much.

So let's begin shall we? Don't worry, it'll only hurt for a moment. Yeah ladies, how many times did ya hear that line?

I'm Duo Maxwell, columnist and bisexual extraordinare. As of today I'm a violet kind of guy, but Lord knows I've had my indigo days.

So welcome to 'Good to the Last Drop', my little piece of written word about ::Gasp:: modern love and sex!

Now some say New York is the city that never sleeps, but then they've obviously never been to Tokyo. This place is a neon light orgasm, 24-7, pulsating party and I'm the man-belle of the ball. I should mention some friends of mine who will most likely be regulars in the chronicles of my sexcapades.

First off there's Quatre Raberba Winner, who blue as the sky believes in true love and fairy tale endings. He's a naive little guy, but he's a good pal. Easy to shock too. One trip to a bath house left him terrified for a month. Now Quatre works in a art gallery in the Ginza shopping district and while he won't admit it, he's had his eyes on a quiet artist named Trowa Barton. I've yet to determine that guy's color, but give me time.

Next is Chang Wufei, orange all the way who is...more or less....misogynist. He's the most angriest little Chinese boy ever and isn't afraid to point out when someone is weak. A finance banker by day, dojo bunny by night, this is a guy who needs to get laid. In the worst possible way.

Dojo bunny- a Duo-ism for someone who obsessively practices in dojos every day.

And then there's Treize Khushrenada, CEO of Oz Corporation and probably an even bigger manwhore than myself. He's a brown fellow, though sometimes I theorize he's actually a pink. He has this air of sophistication that makes ladies chase him down at the clubs. Currently he is un-attached, but that doesn't stop him from a casual fling or two.

Now that you've met the players, let's delve into last night's happenings!!

We, the Fab Four ( did you really think I wouldn't give an appreciative nod to Queer as Folk?), set out for a club in Roppongi called HD Heaven which was pretty exclusive. After a thirty minute wait, we made it in and got a table to which I immediately scan the room. Now I had decided on wearing my tight black jeans and silk dark violet button up shirt. I said I was in a violet way, did I not?

Man both the ladies and the gents love me dressed like that cause the minute I started walking towards the bar I got looks. That's right folks, Sex Machine Walking. Get in line!

The bartender, who was rather good-looking blonde fellow who apparently went to high school with Treize, took my order of a screwdriver with a pineapple twist. Mreow do I love a boy who knows to CONDITION!!

After shooting him a wink, which he seemed to frown at, I returned to the my little group and relay it to Treize.

"You winked at Zechs? Priceless."

"Sex?"

"No, Z-E-C-H-S. Anyways, he's straight so leave him be."

I decided to take Treize's word on that, but still with a name that sounds like sex how can you NOT think wrong thoughts?! I'll remember he's orange.

Quatre was happily drinking his soda as he's a non-drinker, and talking about a new exhibit by some up and coming new artist from Germany. She goes by Lady Une...now that's classy! Quatre, as always, hints at us attending her opening night as he does with all new artists. He's like a cute puppy dog...like Sanrio's Cinnamon Roll...you just can't resist those big eyes.

And we relented as usual.

Free food....free booze...what the hell, why not?

Wufei wandered off to some secluded dark corner to brood about something and I again like to point out that I'm not sure as to why I continue associating with him. I guess every group needs an asshole.

I decided being the vibrant fellow I am to hit the dance floor. I love the dance floor. Dozens of people just moving and flowing like one. I can loose myself there. As Hamasaki Ayumi's new single came on, I opened my lovely violet eyes and glanced around....and that's when I saw him walk in.

Brown hair, blue-eyed, solemn looking as ever...

Heero Yuy.

My fucking ex-boyfriend.

Let the party begin.

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end of chapter 1

Well, I'm off to prepare for tomorrow's three hour drive to boston for warped tour. Later!


	2. Bleeding Heart Over Cocktails

Author's Note: Blah.

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Chapter 2: Bleeding Heart Over Cocktails

Heero Yuy, is and always will be a lone wolf.

He also remains the one person I can't seem to fit into my color scale. At first I thought he a total orange, and then perhaps blue, and then violet.

But he defies all my logic in that arena.

I remember the first time I met Heero, two years ago on a cruise. He was being followed by some looney blonde chick, Relena something. Last I heard she was in England or somewhere teaching. Moving on, we bumped into each other at the bar and got to talking...and somehow I became friends with the brooding boy.

We ran into each other a couple times again in Tokyo and hung out more. Remember how I said I had my indigo days? That was all Heero's faults. He's just too sexy sometimes. Curses! Eventually came the inevitable first kiss, which happened over sushi at my place while watching old Kung Fu episodes, and then dated.

For a year and half. It was mostly on again off again...and then off for good as we officially broke up four months ago. It was apparently mutual, but mostly him. Perhaps we just didn't connect as well I wished.

So then there he was at HD Planet, looking as good as ever in jeans, a tank top, and denim.

Honestly, isn't there a rule ex-es can't look that damn good! I tried hiding behind some taller people on the dance floor but alas he spotted me. I swear that boy could work as a spy. Our gazes locked and, not to sound cliched, I felt my heart stop.

Even if we aren't together, he can still do that to me. Give that nervous feeling in my stomach like I'm a school girl. Hmmm...note to self. Invest in school fuku for Halloween masquerade at Illusions. I should note Illusions is one of my favorite Tokyo haunts, a club that is mostly country-line dancing, but has its random nights of fun.

The BEST nights are the ones you can barely recall, but might I suggest to those who are utterly virginal to alcohol, if you are offered a cerebral hemorrhage..PASS. Trust me folks, it ain't pretty.

Getting back to the topic at hand, I tried to worm my way back to the table and I suppose it's a cowardly thing to do but I never said I was perfect. Damn close, but not quite. Wufei apparently returned and the three look up at my distressed state.

"What's wrong with you?" Wufei asked harshly.

Yep, that's our resident asshole.

"I just...I think I'm going to head home. I'm feeling off."

A lie..but I needed out.

"Could it be because your anti-social ex just walked in? Really Duo, backbone." Treize murmured and sometimes I swear he's more smug that charming.

"Yeah so I'm spineless. I'm out of here."

"Feel better Duo." Quatre said softly, and I swear he's the closest thing to a sister ever. No insult to the guy, but he is pretty feminine. He wears pink shirts....everyday. Seriously, now there's gay and then there's gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy.

But Quatre makes the GAP richer and I suppose there is some beneficial reasoning to it all. I myself don't really stick to one store, as in most things in life. Not that I'm utterly promiscuous, but after being in a monogamous relationship with Heero for that long, I feel I owe it to myself to play the field more. There's a billion people alone in Japan and I don't think I should narrow my margins down at all. How the hell else am I actually going to find the right person for me then?

I got out of there and managed to avoid any direct run-in with Heero as I hailed a cab and headed back home to my apartment overlooking the bay. Got to love waking up to Tokyo Tower in the morning. I swear it's like the center of the freaking universe, or at least it is in anime.

It was about one in the morning and I promptly sat on my couch, picked up the phone and called Hilde Schreinbacker, an old girlfriend who was also one of my closest friends. She lives in Kyoto at the moment but she's used to my late-night ramblings.

Ring ring ring. No answer.

Then I remembered she was supposed to be working a night shift at the lounge she waitressed at. A real nice red velvet place with good pot stickers. Hilde was one of the like five women I seriously dated, and the only one I still talk to.

It really was the only amicable break up ever and probably why I still call her at least four times a week. In fact, she utterly agreed with my 'play the field' notion. I'd like you to find me any other straight woman who'd tell a man they really should play the field and not get too tied down.

Yea, didn't think so.

I suppose there were a number of reasons why Heero and I didn't really work out. I expected too much, he was more reserved, and sometimes I find myself questioning if he was even into guys at all. Don't get me wrong, I'm studly if I say so, but my long hair does give me girlish appearance. I mean we kissed, didn't really hug, it wasn't as if we didn't get intimate....oh yea we were naughty boys, but he was just....emotionally unavailable.

And I guess I need more than that.

I was Heero's first guy actually. I remember when I was with a guy for the first time. It was someone I knew for a while named Solo. That was a crazy three months in the dorms but we parted ways somewhat well. He's currently a computer programmer in Portland, Oregon. He also works nights as a ringmaster in some odd nightclub. Not surprising really.

After five years of dating both sexes, I will admit I'm twenty-four making my first homo-erotic experience occurring at age nineteen, I find that I mostly seemed to prefer men. Sure women were nice and all, but men seemed easier to date mostly. Less bullshit. Though when they're in the closet is utterly annoying.

So it's late and I have no one to talk to. Yippee.

Thus this is where my old friend infomercials came into play. How many times I can see that Turbo Cooker one is really amazing. All I need is some Ben & Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch right now and I have a really good pick me up to fix the night.

I wondered what Heero was doing at a club. It would literally take a gun to his head to drag him anywhere out like that, trust me I know. He always hated places full of lots of people, and I guess he's both anti-social and claustrophobic. Ironically he doesn't seem to be afraid of anything else. I once sarcastically asked him if he was some kind of bubble boy growing up.

He was not amused. No humor in that one.

So the question is still there.

Why was Heero 'I Prefer Empty Spaces' Yuy at HD Planet?

As much as I hate to put myself into the jealous, over-reacting, girlish over dramatization state of mind....I do anyway.

I mean I seriously haven't talked to Heero since we broke up and then out of the blue there he is. Half of me wants to make sure we don't have any run-ins, half of me wants to know why he was there, why why why...

As much as I said I was over it all and as much as I want to see who and what is out there in this crazy world, I still can't seem to let it go. I keep thinking why and that keeps me stuck where I am at the moment.

As much as I talk, I still think about him and I sometimes miss him.

I guess it's not easy, this whole breaking up business, but I thought I could handle it.

Guess I was wrong.

Maybe I'm a liar but at least at I'm not so pathetic that'll I pretend.

Sadly I think I still love Heero.

And damn if that isn't really depressing.

Quatre's gallery party is at the end of week and perhaps I can meet someone to take my mind off of Heero, if not for the time being.

I mean is four months really enough time to get over someone? Maybe I still need more time. I'm still breathing, still walking, still living. I guess there's hope for me yet.

Until then, I still have Ben and Jerry.

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End of chapter 2. Ice cream. Mmm.. Damn I want some now.


	3. Walks Softly and Looks for a Big Gun

Author's Note: ::insert note here::

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Chapter 3: Walks Softly and Searches for a Big Gun

The night for Quatre's art party. Huzzah!

So in a testament of fashion I chose to wear charcoal grey Dockers instead of artsy black to go with my Ebony Express shirt. Fuck conformity, I say! I walked over to Treize's, where Wufei was brooding in a corner as usual.

"Well, now that the team's assembled let's go before Quatre frets." Treize said with a smile as he grabbed the keys to his Lexus and led us to the Treize-Mobile. I was pre-occupied with playing with my braid and wasn't quick to react as Wufei grumbled 'shotty' and thus I was forced to sit in the backseat. Ah the backseat and I are such dear friends. ::Wink wink::

We got to the gallery and sure enough in a black pants and jacket and pink shirt is Quatre, smiling tensely as he wiped his forehead.

"Hey!" he said happily, walking quickly over to us.

"Pretty nice spread, Winner. How's your stress level?" I asked.

"Oh, up there. I hope this gets Trowa-kun the exposure he deserves." he said with a small smile.

Exposure hrm? I bet you'd love to have him exposed to you, my shy little Arab uke. Ah, but it's better to think that little jab since Quatre looked like he was already nervous enough. Ah, and as Mr. Waiter Man passed by with champagne, I had begun what would surely be a fine night of drinking. Wufei wandered over to some dark corner, which suited everyone fine. He lived for places like this where fellow Brooding Bastard types dwelled.

Treize had wandered to the bar to grab a drink to walk the room, and flashed that rakish smile that had women in his wake which was how he liked it. Not that he was heartless and was the type to be an arrogant ladies man, he just liked attention. Really, he should of been a politician.

I saunter over to look at some of Trowa's art and actually he's pretty damn good. Though his clown paintings are weird. It was then I saw a familiar face walk over my way.

Long dark hair, mischievous green-gold eyes....Acheron Heller, Ash to everyone. If I was playing the field, than she was an MVP. At age 25, she had an impressive collection of exes and an even more impressive black book. She was the type who didn't stick to one image, didn't fit into any mold too well.

When she was bold, she wore dramatic make up: the eye-liner, red lipstick, revealing clothes. When she was going for subtlety she wore soft pinks and shimmery pink lipgloss and less revealing clothes. It was when she was being subtle that she was more dangerous.

Tonight her hair was down, pink make-up in place to match here simple pink spaghetti strap cocktail dress and she looked elegant, smart, and almost innocent. Yeah right. I know firsthand just how not innocent she is.

Yes, yes indeed, Ash and I had done the nasty. Got it on. Boffed. Not that we were dating or loved each other or anything. It was simple recreational sex. We don't sleep together anymore, but we're still good friends. And besides, she can get into any club with so much ease it's scary. And she's one of the most interesting conversationalists I've ever met.

"My my, Duo Maxwell. What brings you here, stud?" She asked, slinking up to my side, a small smile on her face.

"My friend works here and begged."

"Ahh...so I see. So how have you been?"

"Pretty okay. Playing the field at the moment and doing my writing thing. You?"

"Hmm, that's my little Duo."

"Actually, I saw Heero the other night at a club."

"Ouch! I'm sorry to hear. He was a good looking one, though quite antsy. But, I will admit, he was a good influence you."

"How so?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.

"You spazzed less."

"I do not spazz, Ash."

"Honey, you define spazz. But you're gay so it works out."

"I'm bisexual, not gay. Total difference."

"Hmm, that's true since I make it a policy not to bed blues as you put it. But, if anything I think Heero could change your colors. Ah well. I guess things change." she said with a wistful sigh.

Ash waxing sentimental romantic notions? Quick! Someone check the thermostat in Hell!

"So how are you doing?" I asked.

She smiled.

"Getting by. Actually my dear, I think I'm finally retiring."

"Retiring?"

"From the game."

I blink.

The 'game' was her term for playing the field, and for her to suggest retirement could only mean..

"Are you dying?"

She laughed.

"Hell no! Worse! I'm in love."

"You? In love? Who's the victim?"

"A martial arts instructor."

"Oh God, don't tell me it's Wufei!"

She made such a face of disgust I had to laugh.

"No no no! His name's Atsushi. I really...ah!" she said, sighing.

"So the mighty Ash has fallen. God help us all."

"Well don't cheer yet, he erm...doesn't exactly love me back..yet."

"Oh?"

"He will be mine. If he's responsible for me invoking monogamy then he damn well will be mine."

"Go get em, tiger. You're the champ."

"Yes, I pass my torch to you. You may now officially take the title of 'Supreme Whore of Tokyo'."

"Oh no, I doubt I'll ever live up to your standards."

"Well suit yourself. I'm off to mingle. And chin up, Duo, you'll find someone."

I nodded and watched her go.

Now that was weird.

And it was then I noticed Treize...leaving...keys in hand...with a brunette. Oh..oh hell no he isn't?!!

I quickly go to find Wufei and thus our powers of brilliant deduction concluded:

We had been sexiled.

It can be said that perhaps Treize is the horniest of them all.

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	4. The Princess Vs Home Depot

Author's Note: The adventure thus foretold is based on actual events.

You have been warned!

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Chapter 4: The Princess Vs Home Depot

After harassing Treize for details and laying on him for ditching us for the purposes of fornication, I learned that the brunette in question was a Ms. Lady Une, a talented artist herself who was as Treize described 'witty and refreshingly realistic and didn't drool over him every six seconds.'

See, Treize appreciates the fairer sex a great deal, and has entertained girls who we like to call Barbie Dolls (fake with no brains whatsoever), but it's apparently after getting to know Treize that he truly appreciates a woman of equal intellect and wit.

And it seems this Lady Une has Treize, dare I say it? Smitten.

As we sat over Caramel Machiattos, my cell rang and I picked it up as a familiar voice said hello.

"Quatre-love! What's up?"

"I need a favor, Duo. My sister's in town."

"Which one?"

Quatre has twenty-nine sisters, so he really needs to narrow it down a bit. Yes. Twenty-nine. Test tube babies the lot of them, but very nice girls. Well most of them anyways.

"Lillian."

"Oh, she is?"

"Yes, and she needs to gets some boards for a project but I can't take her so can you take her to Home Depot?"

"Sure."

Clicking my phone shut I got up and threw some money at Treize like he was a two-bit harlot.

Well, the two-bit part is inaccurate.

Getting up, I told him I had to do a favor for our little gallery boy and headed onto the street and caught the subway to Quatre's manor.

I was actually looking forward to seeing good ol' Lily again.

Lillian Estrella Winner is the 29th sister and closest to Quatre in age, her being twenty-two. She's so adorable that we used to call her Usagi-chan. She's studying to be an art therapist, which REALLY pissed Poppa Winner off. He really hates when his kids deviate from his plans. Them Winner kids seem to really like art. Only ten of Quatre's sisters actually work for Winner International.

I got to the manor and rang the bell and the door opened and I blinked.

"Lily? Our little usagi-chan? Is that you?"

The blonde girl blinked and put on a big grin.

Yep, that's our Lily.

"DUO!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around my neck.

Lily used to have long dark blonde hair and wore jeans and sweatshirts all the time, now...I almost didn't recognize her!

She was wearing an Armani dress suit that was a charcoal grey colored with a lavender blouse, she had expensive looking glasses on, Prada shoes, a silver Tiffany chain necklace, pearl earrings, her hair was now highlighted and pulled up in a neat up-twist with face-framing strands held up with a gold clip with diamonds on it, she was wearing make-up, and she was holding...a Dooney and Bourke bag?

My God in Heaven...she's discovered fashion!!!!!

I could weep with joy!!

Ah, finally my influence is showing!

"Come on kiddo, time to get you some wood. And boards."

She rolled her eyes and laughed.

"Perv."

"You love it." I told her, throwing an arm over her shoulder and leading her to Home Depot.

Back in the days when I worked for a salvaging company (but shh, don't wanna ruin my fancy-lad image), I used to get sent to Home Depot all the time so this was nothing.

After catching a taxi and making out way to the orange and beige den of lumber, with a pit-stop to Starbucks, we walked in and Lily tensed.

To say she looked like a Deer in Headlights was an understatement.

We walk past the check outs and she starts gasping.

"Where's the lumber?!" she asked, and she seemed pretty...scared?

"It's straight ahead. What's wrong?"

"Oh my God, I'm going to get hit on the head with lumber! I just know it! Death by 2x4!"

For some reason I suddenly thought of Quatre. Scary.

We got to the lumber section and now Lily looks even more nervous...and incredibly out of place.

"Uh....I'm lost." she muttered and I sighed.

"Well let's ask one of those guys with orange aprons, you know..employees."

"Oh you do it!" she said, sipping her coffee.

Sighing, I dragged her to an employee and we asked for masonite board. He grabbed it and we went to the cutting area.

Poor Lily didn't know to cover her ears and actually jumped when she heard the saw.

After getting her boards we went to the register where this young blonde guy was working, he looked quite Abercrombie-esque. Lily noticed right away.

Yes, she is a shameless Abercrombie & Fitch fanatic.

Unfortunately, Mr. Aber-Boy rang her up for three boards when she only had one. So he had to walk to get a supervisor in which Lily goes:

"Oh that's okay!" and when out of earshot, "You're hot."

The cashier on the next register turned over and smiled at that as if he wanted to laugh.

So the Aber-boy came back and fixed the problem while Lily was checking him out.

Finally we left and I proceeded to crack up.

She is tooooo damn funny and the story of her and Home Depot is one the greatest times I've had in ages.

"Ugh, I need a martini." she sighed as she handed me the boards as we walked down the street.

Ah, her trademark comment. I was waiting for that.

After we got back to Maison Winner, I helped her apply gesso to the boards.

Apparently she had to use them to do an old masters painting, which was do a parody of a famous historical work of art.

She mentioned she was going to do a parody of the Renoir girl where they're dancing and have the man grope the Renoir girl's butt while she's all outraged.

I suggested a parody of the Sistine chapel with the angel that looks like Trowa.

I notice she hadn't mentioned men or asked me about my love-life. Ah, I guess Quatre filled her in on the Heero-Incident.

"So Lily, got a boyfriend?"

"Nah, I don't have time."

"Ah, that's a shame. You look so nice now. I'm so happy you discovered shallow behavior."

She scoffed.

"I'm NOT shallow."

I grinned at her.

"Sureeeeeeeeeeeee.... Miss 'This is my Fall Dooney & Bourke bag' and my Coach bag is for Spring and Summer."

"Oh whatever."

I laughed and patted her on the head.

"I'm just teasing you, kiddo."

She smiled and went back to work and so I decided to leave and go do something productive like maybe actually work.

At least I didn't think about Heero for that last four hours.

Maybe I should call him or something, I can't stop thinking about him. Maybe I need to like see him to just get him out of my system.

Or is that have one last fling with him?

Oh God...I don't think I could handle a one-night stand with Heero, and he's not that type of guy.

See, give a man your heart and he's got it in a death grip.

Maybe I should have asked Lily, she's friends with him.

Nah, I won't put her in the middle.

Treize hooked up that lady, Quatre's most likely going to hook up with Trowa, Wufei...don't care about him at the moment...

Everyone's getting lucky somehow.

Except me.

Insert Tragedy Drama Mask.

I think I need to get more Coffee Heath Bar Crunch.


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